Distractions: Risk & Responsibility
by tsuki-llama
Summary: "Distractions" short #1: Collection of shorts following the end of Distractions, but before Wine & Sympathy. Misaki and Hei navigate their burgeoning yet risky relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is the (chronologically) first in a series of shorts that will eventually replace the ex-epilogue of _Distractions_ (which I have taken down). The numbering on the shorts that I've already published will change as I fill in the gaps between Chapter 30 and the other stories. Some of the material will be familiar, as I'm rewriting portions of the epilogue and incorporating it into these shorts; some of it will be brand new as I tweak the story to lead into a post-S1, post- _Distractions_ sequel. This story begins immediately following the end of Chapter 30 of _Distractions_. Enjoy!

* * *

It was the ringing of her phone, rather than her alarm, that woke Misaki from a blissful sleep. She blindly reached for it on the nightstand, only for her hand to come up empty. _Where_ …? The phone jangled again - the sound was distant, as if it was coming from the living room. That was weird; she always slept with it next to her bed. Why would she -

Misaki sat bolt upright as the memory of last night flooded to the forefront of her mind. Had she actually said…? Had they really…?

Compulsively, she pulled the sheet up to cover her bare chest, then turned to look at the place next to her in the pale early morning light: empty. She wasn't sure whether she was disappointed, or relieved.

Her phone rang again; swearing to herself, Misaki leapt out of bed. Even though it was obvious that she was alone in the apartment, she wrapped the sheet around herself and dragged it with her into the other room.

She snatched up her phone from the kitchen counter, cutting off the jarring ring. "Kirihara," she said, brushing the hair out of her face and hoping that her voice didn't sound as breathless on the other end of the line as it did to her ears.

"Chief!" Saitou exclaimed almost hesitantly. "I've almost finished putting together the notes for the briefing - was there anything specific that you wanted to add?"

The briefing - damn it. Misaki glanced at the clock; if she hurried, she'd just make it. "No," she told Saitou guiltily, not bothering to make an excuse for her absence from the office. "Just the reports from last night and anything new that Ootsuka was able to get from Astronomics. I'll be there soon."

She snapped the phone shut without waiting for an answer, furious with herself for oversleeping. That's what she got for staying up so late.

There was no evidence in the bathroom to show that Hei had ever been there. The clothes that Misaki had been wearing last night were folded neatly on the counter, and there was no sign of blood drops on the floor or in the sink. Was he being considerate, or just trying to remove anything potentially incriminating? As Misaki stepped into the tub for a record-quick shower, she could see in her mind's eye an array of cold knives lying on the bottom, draped over with a black shirt, and couldn't suppress a smile.

The smile didn't last long, however. She didn't have time for more than a cursory glance in the mirror as she dressed, and then she was dashing downstairs to her car, hastily-brewed coffee in hand.

More than once on the drive to the office, Misaki considered using her police siren to push through the gridlock, but each time she decided against it. She didn't want to cause any panic, and anyway, it was her own damn fault that she was running late. Besides, it gave her time to think about last night.

She still couldn't quite believe what had come over her, propositioning him like that. Not only was he currently the most wanted contractor in Tokyo, but he had killed a man just a few scant hours before showing up at her place. She'd caught him red-handed, then let him waltz right into her apartment.

Okay, so she hadn't let him in - he had broken in, and she had let him - no, _invited_ him to stay. But he hadn't threatened her; in fact, she was pretty sure that coming for the radio had just been an excuse. She'd called out to him on the rooftop of the hotel, and, despite being injured, he'd come to her.

Misaki slammed on her brakes, narrowly avoiding rear-ending the car in front of her. Her coffee sloshed in the cup holder, but fortunately didn't spill. She needed to be more careful. And speaking of being careful: usually, she was the picture of responsibility. Last night…well, thank god for IUDs.

He'd agreed to see her again. Was that what she wanted? Even if she did want it, was it worth the risk? All she had to do was _not_ hang up the signal, and that would be the end of it. She had no doubt that Hei would respect that decision, if indeed that was what she decided.

Despite the heavy morning traffic, the gleaming exterior of the Public Security Bureau headquarters greeted her all too soon, though she only had ten minutes to spare before her team's briefing with the Director. She was grateful for her reserved parking space; the garage was much more full than it usually was when she arrived.

As Misaki stepped into the crowded elevator with the other office drones, she surreptitiously took a deep, centering breath, and pushed all thoughts of Hei from her mind.

The elevator doors dinged open on her floor and she stepped out, ready to focus on nothing but work for the rest of the day. Ootsuka was rushing across the lobby with an armful of files. She spotted Misaki right away, and veered towards her.

"Chief, I've collated the reports from -" She cut off abruptly with a gasp and grabbed Misaki's arm. Too surprised to react, Misaki let the other woman pull her into the ladies' room, purse swinging wildly on her shoulder.

"What -" Misaki began, but Ootsuka spoke over her.

"Wait here, I have some concealer in my desk," she said, then dashed out without a word, leaving her files on the bathroom counter.

Misaki frowned after her, and picked up the stack of papers to be sure that they hadn't been dropped in a splash of water. As she did so, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror - and the mark on the base of her neck, that was just peeping out from under her collar. Her face turned nearly as red as the mark, partly from the thought of one of her colleagues seeing it on her, but mostly from the memory of how it had gotten there in the first place. She could almost still feel his lips on her skin, his - Misaki had to bite her own lip to forestall that train of thought before it got her into trouble.

"Not a word," she told Ootsuka when she'd returned with the concealer. Then she added a belated, "Thanks."

Ootsuka beamed at her, and promised to keep quiet.

 _Well,_ Misaki thought as she headed into the conference room for the briefing, _that answers that question_. Risky or not, she didn't regret last night, and she couldn't give up her chance to see Hei again. She would just have to be careful.

~~~~o~~~~

It turned out to be a slow work day, consisting mostly of reports and paperwork. Despite her best efforts, Misaki kept finding herself preoccupied by thoughts of the coming evening, and whether it would make her look desperate if she hung her scarf in the window the very first night. Her team noticed her distraction, and from time to time she'd look up to see curious glances pointed her way. A scowl would send them quickly back to their own tasks; but she couldn't keep a severe expression on her face for long.

As lunchtime passed, though, she began to worry that he hadn't really been serious about the new arrangement. Or at least, not as serious as she had been. Would he even be looking for the signal the first night? The first week? Misaki had never done the casual sex thing before - she didn't even sleep with boyfriends until several dates had happened first. She considered calling Kanami for advice, but…it was safer if her friend didn't know that she was seeing anyone at all. Kanami would no doubt guess that Misaki's mysterious paramour was Li, and she didn't want her friend mixed up in this.

Of course, that was assuming that Hei was even interested. She'd had no doubt of his interest last night - but, well, things always looked different in the harsh light of day. Even if he was an atypical contractor, he still _was_ a contractor, and rational at base. He might regret the previous night, or decide that it wasn't worth the trouble.

Well, there was only one way to find out. Misaki eventually decided that she didn't care how it made her look, and as soon as she arrived home that night, she dug out her pink headscarf and tied it to the outside of the blinds of her bedroom window, where it would be visible from the street. She then changed into a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt, and settled down on the floor in front of her coffee table to go over some case files.

The spot of blood on her carpet hadn't come out completely, the red fading to a rusty brown color. Misaki scratched distractedly at it with her fingernail. The odds of him actually showing up tonight were slim, after all; he could be working, or just planning on spending the night at his own place rather than rushing things with her. Just because _she_ was obsessed, didn't mean that _he_ was. She decided that if two weeks passed without her seeing him, then it would mean that he'd changed his mind.

About an hour later, her heart skipped a beat at a soft knock at the door. Dropping the file that she'd been staring at without actually reading, she leapt up and forced herself to walk calmly to the door. She peered through the peephole: Hei was standing on the other side, dressed as Li and looking casual but casting suspicious glances up and down the hall under hooded eyes.

She closed her eyes and exhaled a quick sigh of happiness, then opened the door.

"I wasn't sure you'd come," she said.

He stepped quickly over the threshold, hands in his pockets and gaze averted. "I said I would."

Misaki shut the door. Then, unable to stop herself, she walked right up to him and began unbuttoning his shirt, as much to dispel her own nervousness as his.

"You said 'maybe'." She pushed the shirt from his shoulders.

"I lied."

"I know." She had hardly gotten the words out before he was kissing her.

Misaki returned the kiss eagerly, smiling beneath his lips at the almost hesitant way his hands settled on her hips. For all his confident skill as an assassin, Hei was turning out to be actually shy when it came to women. It was sweet, and made her feel slightly braver. She wasn't the only one feeling awkward and nervous. Last night had been a flurry of intense feelings and pent-up desire; tonight, they should take it slow.

She trailed her fingertips lightly down his bare chest, drifting across the edges of well-defined muscles, and was rewarded with his sharp intake of breath. Emboldened by her caresses, he reached up to cup one breast through the thin fabric of her shirt. She angled her head as he nipped delicately at her earlobe, warming with pleasure that he remembered what she liked after just one night. As his lips began to move down the soft skin of her throat towards the base of her neck, she laid a hand on his cheek to stop him.

"Careful," she said, stretching her collar to bare the red spot. "No marks where people might see."

Hei's eyes widened. "I did that? Sorry - I won't…"

Her giggle cut him off. "I didn't say I didn't like it," she said, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. "Just that you have to be careful where you put your mouth."

His gaze had taken on a darker cast at her laughter, and in unspoken answer to her request, he took the hem of her shirt and pulled the garment over her head. Misaki let it drop to the floor, then pressed herself against him, bare skin to bare skin. _Slow_ , she reminded herself with reluctance.

"Sofa?" she whispered.

Hei gripped her hand and wordlessly led her across the room to the small loveseat. She pressed down on his shoulders; he sat obediently, pulling her with him into his lap. He held her face between his hands, kissing her thoroughly and chasing away all the doubts that had been plaguing her that morning.


	2. Chapter 2

"You know, I think that's the first time I've ever had sex on a sofa," Misaki mused, half asleep as she listened to Hei's steady heartbeat beneath her head where they lay stretched out on the cushions.

He ran his fingers idly through her long hair, which was splayed across his chest, and her scalp tingled pleasantly at the touch.

"Really?"

Misaki felt a flash of irritation at his tone of surprise, then chided herself for it. So what if he'd been more adventurous than her in the past? It wasn't like she was completely inexperienced; but this was supposed to be a no-strings, casual hook-up. Neither of their pasts mattered. She doubted that he'd had many long-term relationships, given both his nature and the nature of his occupation - but he might have had to sleep with a lot of women as part of his job.

That was an ugly thought. Misaki pushed it from her mind - she didn't want to know anything about his past relationships, professional or otherwise. Instead, she focused on the sensation of his soft touch, the thump of his heart, the slow rise and fall of his chest. Her eyes began to drift shut under the soothing rhythm.

A loud rumbling in her ear startled her awake; the growl sounded again, and she laughed.

"Didn't you eat dinner?" she asked, turning her face up to look into his.

He nodded, looking slightly sheepish.

"You eat an awful lot," she mused, "but cooking isn't your price. Is it your appetite?" Misaki regretted the question as soon as she'd asked it; he was here because he trusted her with his identity, and she had no right to abuse that trust by asking such a probing question. "But no," she hurried on, hoping to cover her slip, "that can't be it. I would have gotten a call if your star was active at all today."

Hei's expression hardened at her words. Shit, she was just making it worse. She was trying desperately to come up with a way to dig herself out when he said in a low voice, "Keeping tabs on me, Chief Kirihara?"

His tone sent a shiver down her spine, and her eyes flicked to his in worry; but there was nothing in his gaze except his usual intensity. His hand had wandered to her breast, which he kneaded gently. Arousal washed through her, setting her skin to tingling.

"Of course," she answered, hardly believing her own daring. "You _are_ the most wanted man in Tokyo, after all." She emphasized _wanted_ with a squeeze of her own. Hei's breath caught at her touch; in a sudden movement, he twisted his body so that she rolled beneath him. Misaki stretched out beneath the press of his weight and hooked her leg behind his knee. She ran her hands down his back, feeling the muscles flexing smoothly beneath his skin.

He brushed a hand down her cheek - then his stomach gave another angry growl, and she burst out giggling. Her laughter sparked the desire in his eyes, and Misaki's pulse quickened under that burning gaze. "You'd better eat something, before you starve," she whispered.

The slight curve of his mouth told her that he intended to do just that.

~~~~o~~~~

By the time they were finished, it was clear that Hei was in need of real sustenance. Misaki was pretty sure that cooking together was not something that you did in an arrangement that wasn't a relationship, but she couldn't in good conscience send him home now, half-starved as he was. She reached over the side of the sofa for her underwear, suddenly acutely aware of her lack of clothing. That Hei had just seen every inch of her didn't matter; it was different, after. She slid down to the floor to retrieve her t-shirt. Hei rose behind her.

"I don't have much in the kitchen," Misaki said as she pulled her shirt down over her head, wincing a bit as the fabric brushed her pleasantly tender breasts. "We can order something if you like, though."

She picked up her glasses from the coffee table and put them on, then scanned the paper-strewn wooden surface. Not there. She turned and started searching in the sofa cushions.

"What are you looking for?" Hei asked. Misaki glanced up, and was slightly disappointed to see that he was buttoning up his jeans; she definitely preferred him out of them. Still, the denim riding low on his hips, combined with those naked abs…she realized that she'd been staring when he blushed slightly. She averted her gaze with a cough, resuming her search.

"My hair tie," she explained. "I hate the way it hangs in my face; I can't work like that."

"By your foot."

She looked down. "Oh. Thanks." Pulling her hair out of her eyes, she tied it back - and realized belatedly that she'd been giving him quite a view while down on her knees. She tugged her shirt down in a vain attempt to cover her sheer underwear, then stopped herself when he caught her eye.

Abruptly, Hei looked away, scratching the back of his head absently. "What do you have in the kitchen?" he asked. Misaki smiled at his awkward non sequitur.

"I don't know," she said. "We'll have to look."

He headed into the kitchen without waiting for her. Misaki followed behind. She paused to pick up her shorts; then, debating, dropped them again. It was probably wrong, how much she enjoyed seeing him thrown off balance; but she did.

When she entered the kitchen, she saw that Hei had found some packages of instant ramen in a cupboard. Misaki opened the fridge: there was nothing in there except some prepackaged bentos for her lunches the rest of the week; a bottle of soy sauce; and a carton containing seven eggs. She pulled out the soy sauce and the eggs.

"These are old, but I think they're still good."

Hei lifted out an egg and inspected it, then replaced it in the carton, seemingly satisfied. "Where are your pots?"

Misaki only had two, that she had picked up for cheap in college. Hei set the ramen to boiling in one pot, then began cracking eggs into the smaller, shallower one. She watched, fascinated by the way he could do it one-handed while he stirred. She'd seen him cooking like this once before, but something was different about it. After a moment, she was able to put her finger on the change. Previously, he'd been so tense and on edge, despite the fact that they'd been temporarily safe. And now that she thought about it, when he'd made her dinner as Li, that tension had still been present; except, it had manifested in a very Li-like apologetic chatter.

But now, his posture was relaxed; and though he was quiet, it was a comfortable, companionable silence.

"Do you have anything sweet?"

The question jolted her back to reality. "Um…" Spotting an unopened bottle of wine on the counter, she brought it over. "Kanami left this here a few weeks ago, but it's sweeter than I usually like. Will this work?"

He took the bottle and popped the cork; apparently it _would_ work, because he added a generous measure to the egg and soy sauce mixture. "You seem close."

It took her a minute to fit any kind of context to the statement. "With Kanami?" She smiled. "Yes; we've been friends since junior high. In high school, she and Alice and I were inseparable."

"Alice?"

Damn, why had she brought Alice up? She opened her mouth to brush the name aside; but instead, found herself recounting the history of her friendship with the gang-leader's daughter. Hei didn't interrupt - most of the time he wasn't even looking at her, focusing instead on his task - but she could tell that he was listening.

"Kanami doesn't think that anything I could have done would have helped her," she finished pensively, staring at the floor. "But…I don't know, I keep thinking that there must be something I missed. _Something_ that would have made a difference."

"You don't blame her for betraying you?"

Misaki glanced up into his face. He had the same look of empathy that had so surprised her when they'd first talked together, in that hotel bathroom stall. She wondered, again, who had betrayed him; but she didn't feel right asking.

"No," she said honestly. "It wasn't _about_ me - not really. Even though I was still her friend, she didn't see it that way." Misaki shrugged. "Anyway. I'm sorry to talk so much - but thanks for listening. Now, and then."

She thought she saw his expression soften at the allusion to that first, strange meeting. "I like listening to you talk," was all he said, as he turned to dish out the food.

They ate on the floor of the living room, knees touching beneath the coffee table. Misaki wasn't very hungry, and only ate a small portion, despite how surprisingly good it was. Hei devoured the rest. As he ate, Misaki talked just to fill the silence; mostly meaningless chatter about her day. She took care not to mention anything that was classified. Not because she didn't trust him: she didn't think that he would care about the details of her cases, but she didn't want to burden him with information that he might feel obligated to pass on to his employers, or feel guilty for keeping from them.

All too soon, Hei finished his midnight meal; Misaki wasn't ready to see him go. "Are you busy tomorrow night?" she asked, trying to sound casual, her gaze focused on the inside of her bowl.

"I have to work."

She looked up sharply.

"At the restaurant," he added carefully.

"Oh. Okay." How she was going to deal with the reality of his _other_ job, she hadn't quite figured out. But the less she thought about it, the better. "So what do you do in your time off?" she asked, suddenly curious.

He scraped up the last of the noodles from his bowl. "Walk around the city, usually. Today I went to the library."

"The library?" Misaki asked, nonplussed.

Hei's face was expressionless when he replied, "It's the place where they keep all the books."

It took her a moment to realize that he was teasing her; then she snorted a laugh. "Ass," she said, and flicked a piece of egg at him. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, the closest that she ever saw him get to a smile. "Why did you go to the library? And don't you dare say 'to read'."

"I'm not great at reading kanji; I like to practice reading newspapers."

Misaki smiled at this little peek into his life. "I thought kanji was the same in Chinese?"

"A lot of it is; enough isn't that it's hard sometimes." He shrugged lightly. "It's better than sitting at home."

She started to reply, but an unexpected yawn took over.

"I'll go, so you can get some sleep." Hei stood abruptly; picking up their bowls, he headed into the kitchen and began washing up.

Misaki followed. "You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind."

She hesitated. "You don't have to leave, either." If there was one thing that she knew about casual sex, it was that you weren't supposed to stay the night. But right now, she didn't care. He looked to her in surprise, and she hurried on. "I mean, there's plenty of room in my bed for two people, and it's a long walk back to your place."

"I'll have to go before it gets light," he said slowly, and her heart warmed a little.

"Okay."

He nodded, expression soft. "Okay."

Misaki helped him finish washing the dishes, then turned off the lights. They made their way into the dark bedroom and undressed. "Oh, wait," Misaki said, then dashed back out into the living room to grab her phone. She placed it in its customary spot on her nightstand and plugged it into the charger, then pulled Hei down to the mattress with her. At first, he settled stiffly a few inches away; but she scooted to his side. Encouraged, he spooned up against her. She heard his quiet, contented sigh and smiled. He wrapped his arm around her, and she felt herself drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

This had the potential to become a dangerous habit, she knew - but she didn't care.


	3. Chapter 3

Distractions

"What's up with you?" Kanami asked, watching Misaki from across the food court table.

The two women had spent the entire morning shopping, as attested by the massive pile of bags next to Kanami's chair. Misaki only had one: a new pair of dress pants to replace the pair that she'd been wearing the night that Hei had shown up in her apartment so unexpectedly. As good as her dry cleaner was, he hadn't been able to get out the splotch of blood that had dripped from Hei's wound.

She was debating whether or not to mention that to Hei. He would no doubt feel badly about it; but he was so adorable when he was embarrassed...

Kanami was still eying her expectantly. Misaki swallowed a mouthful of noodles. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You just seem…happy."

"I'm not usually happy?" Misaki frowned a little.

"That's not what I meant," Kanami said impatiently, pointing her chopsticks at Misaki for emphasis. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're usually a lot more, well, uptight. I don't generally notice it, but you're so relaxed today that it seems strange."

"I'm just in a good mood, I guess," Misaki shrugged, inwardly berating herself for letting the changes in her personal life show so obviously. Then again, it was Kanami; she'd never had much luck keeping things from her closest friend.

"Well, anyway," Kanami said at last, when it was clear that Misaki wasn't going to explain things to her, "I think Shinji and I are ready to move things up a level."

"Shinji?"

"That friend of mine from college; you met him at the karaoke bar in Roppongi. You remember." Kanami quirked a smile. "Then again, maybe you don't remember - you were a little distracted at the time."

Misaki ignored her friend's grin. "Yes, I do. I just didn't know you were seeing him." _Had_ she known it, and just completely tuned the info out? She felt a brief stab of guilt that she'd been so detached from her best friend's life lately.

But Kanami's shrug was reassuring. "We've just been doing the casual thing for a couple of weeks. But it's going really well."

"Well enough that you want to get more serious?"

Her friend nodded. "He tends bar at another club in the district; since I usually work the late shift, our schedules mesh nicely. And he's a ton of fun to hang out with. You know, he's got a friend I could hook you up with, if you're interested…"

She burst out laughing at the look on Misaki's face. "Come on, I'm just joking - you know I'd never do that to you."

"So," Misaki began after a moment, fiddling with the straw in her soda, "how do you know when it's time for a casual relationship to become something more?"

The look Kanami fixed her with was all too shrewd. "Why?"

"I'm just curious," Misaki said, as nonchalantly as she could manage. "I've always approached relationships from the other direction."

"Well," Kanami mused, "I guess for me it's when I start wanting to see them outside of bed. You know, when you just spend time together spontaneously, without making plans in advance."

Did that count for her and Hei? Misaki didn't think so. True, they didn't schedule his visits, but there wasn't much that they did together besides sex. And cooking, occasionally. Tracking down an MSS spy ring together certainly didn't count.

"Wanting to introduce them to each other's friends," Kanami continued. "Shinji and I hang out with the same party crowd, mostly, but _you_ _'re_ my final step in the vetting process: I don't waste time introducing anyone to you that I'm not serious about."

"Really?" It was true that she'd not met most of Kanami's dates; she'd never guessed that there was an actual reason for it.

"What, you didn't know that?" Kanami smiled warmly. "Shinji's got a ways to go before I'll be ready for him to try for your stamp of approval; but even the fact that I'm thinking about it means something."

Misaki returned her friend's smile, pleased that Kanami valued her opinion so highly; but inwardly, she couldn't help but sigh a little in relief. That one definitely didn't apply to her and Hei.

"Anything else?" she asked.

Kanami rested her chin in her hand in thought. "Hm, I think the biggest sign is when you have sleepovers that last the whole night."

"Why does that have to mean it isn't casual anymore?" Misaki protested. "What if it's just convenient?" She felt her face flush at Kanami's raised eyebrow, and focused her attention on her soda.

"It doesn't _have_ to," Kanami allowed. "But a sleepover with no sex is _definitely_ serious. "

Misaki's brow furrowed. That first night that he'd had to work late, she'd missed his company, awkward though it still was. Then the night after that, she'd arrived home so exhausted that she'd gone straight to bed without thinking to hang up the signal - and Hei hadn't appeared.

So, she'd offhandedly mentioned that he was welcome any night that her scarf was in the window, no matter how late. Two days later, she'd woken to his gentle hand on her shoulder; too sleepy to reply coherently, she'd tugged him down to the bed beside her, and drifted off again wrapped securely in his arms.

If they waited until they both had the night off to see each other - well, they'd never see each other. It was only practical. So, Kanami's last point really didn't apply to their situation.

Misaki didn't realize how long she'd been silent, lost in thought, until Kanami said, "Well, there's one more sale I want to stop by before we call it a day. If you're up for it." When Misaki didn't protest, she raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

The sale turned out to be in the same department store where Misaki had caught Hei buying women's clothing, and she smiled at the memory. She would never admit it to Kanami, but a part of her was hoping that they would run into each other here again; though as far as she knew, Hei had no reason to be shopping today. Or at all. Her brow furrowed again at the thought; what had been his reason that last time? The story that he'd told her had been awfully weak, but for the life of her she couldn't imagine why he would be buying women's clothing.

While Kanami was browsing through shoes, Misaki wandered into the lingerie section and found the very spot where she'd seen him looking through bras. Misaki had never cared much for lingerie. She bought things that were practical, and if the tops and bottoms matched it was only because everything she owned was the same white colored polyester for work or cotton for her days off. But now she found herself drawn to the displays. Idly, she wondered if Hei had a favorite color.

A cough made her look up, and when she saw Kanami smiling at her, arms folded, she realized that she was in the honeymoon aisle.

"So, this is what it is," Kanami said, sounding at little hurt despite her smile. "You didn't really break things off with Li, did you."

Misaki sighed, defeated. "No, I did. Well, he did, and I agreed."

That was what she'd told Kanami the day after the events in Yokohama, when her friend had called to see how things had gone at the bar after she'd left. It had been true at the time.

"But then I ran into him again a few days later, and, well…" she trailed off, trying to find the right words. "We've been seeing each other a lot since then. But we want to keep it quiet."

"Quiet? You've been keeping it _silent_ \- why?"

It made her uncomfortable, lying to her best friend; but there was no way she could tell Kanami the whole truth. "I can't explain it. It's what's best, for now."

Kanami frowned. "Why 'for now'? Wait, are you saying he has another girlfriend? Is he married - is that what he was lying about?"

"No," Misaki faltered. Him being married would actually be easier to explain than the truth. "It's just…we have really great chemistry, but I don't think we have a future together."

"You told me that you thought that you were too different," Kanami said.

Misaki nodded. "I'm just trying to enjoy what we have, now, for as long as I can."

As long as it just stayed casual. The last thing that she needed was to get in too deep with a contractor.

Kanami's eyebrows rose. "So wait, you're actually doing the casual thing? Have you slept with him already?"

Misaki felt an involuntary flush creep into her cheeks. "Yes. And you don't have to look so surprised."

"Sorry, it's just - wow. Not something I would have expected." She considered. "Still, you two were totally into each other at that bar. He makes you happy?"

Misaki nodded, smiling. "I feel so relaxed with him…I don't know how to explain it."

"Well, I can't argue with that. Just so long as you don't end up getting hurt."

"He won't hurt me," Misaki said. What she didn't add was _on purpose_. She knew in the back of her mind that the longer they carried on with their affair, the more likely they both were to end up hurt. She just didn't want to think about it.

Kanami was looking at her with a slightly pitying expression, as if she knew what Misaki was trying not to say. But then her friend continued, "What does he like?" and started pulling out the most risqué sets of lingerie that she could find.

"I don't think he cares what kind of underwear I have on," Misaki said, embarrassed by the things that Kanami was showing her. It was true; Hei took no notice of her clothing beyond what was necessary to remove it.

Kanami _tsked_. "That's because you don't have anything interesting - I've seen your lingerie drawer, remember? How about this?" She held up something that Misaki didn't even know the name for, a sheer, red, lacy thing with more straps than Hei had for his knives. Misaki eyed it in distaste, but the color reminded her of something.

"You know, I first met Li at Alice's party, when she made me wear that red Chinese dress," Misaki said. "His cousin told me that she'd gotten him to admit that he thought I'd looked beautiful in it, but that he liked me in my suits better. I asked him if that was true, and why, and he said it was because I looked out of place in a dress, but suits are who I am."

It was the only compliment that he'd given her so far, and he'd said it in such a matter-of-fact tone that she didn't think that he'd intended it as more than an answer to a question. But his sincerity had rendered her almost speechless. He wasn't the type to make flattering remarks, and she didn't need them; but it had been nice to hear anyway.

"Hm," Kanami said, considering. "He's right. I like him more already. I know…" She trailed off and headed down another aisle, Misaki following.

The set that Misaki ended up buying was almost as practical as what she already owned, but the cut was flattering and subtly sexy; the silky, sky blue material trimmed with the tiniest bit of lace.

She gripped the bag self-consciously as they exited the store; she couldn't remember the last time that she'd bought something so frivolous.

"What if he doesn't like it?" she asked Kanami in a quiet voice. She would feel completely ridiculous, going to all that extra effort. He was a contractor; aesthetics were meaningless to them. Then again, he had made that comment about her suits…

"Do _you_ like it?" Kanami retorted with a raised eyebrow.

Misaki nodded.

Kanami smiled. "Then that's what really matters, isn't it? Anyway, that set is totally you - so if he likes you, he'll like you in it."

Well, she supposed, there was only one way to find out.


	4. Chapter 4

After she got home that evening, Misaki changed into her new lingerie. She felt a little silly, getting undressed only to put on the exact same clothes again - but she didn't know when (or if) Hei would arrive, and she wasn't ready for pajamas quite yet.

The dinner hour came and went. Misaki finished up the paperwork that she had brought home; as the evening wore on, there was no sign of Hei. She was debating going to bed, though it was a bit early - she had really enjoyed the feeling of him climbing in beside her in the middle of the night - when her phone rang.

Misaki looked at the display: Ootsuka. "Kirihara," she answered brusquely.

"Chief, hi - I hope it's not too late to call, on your night off…"

Misaki suppressed a sigh. Sometimes, she wished that it was legal to use ME on her co-workers. At least Ootsuka had kept her discovery of her chief's dating life to herself. "Of course not. Is there new star activity?"

There were really only two stars that Misaki was interested in; her team had directions to alert her to those stars' activity regardless of the time. UB-001, and -

"BK-201," Ootsuka said. Misaki felt her chest constrict a little.

The other woman continued, "Only a brief burst. At approximately the same time, another star fell: LT-404. We recorded no activity from that star."

"Right," Misaki said, struggling to keep a level of detachment in her voice. "Do you have a location?"

"Not yet. Should I call if we find the crime scene?"

"No; not tonight. Just make sure the report is on my desk first thing in the morning."

Ootsuka acknowledged the order, then ended the call. Misaki flipped her phone shut with one hand, gripping it tightly. It was definitely not going to be easy, getting used to his job. She wondered, again, if she was truly an idiot for pursuing this…not relationship. Arrangement. How long would she be able to turn a blind eye to the fact that he was a killer? How long would he be able to trust her, a cop, with that knowledge?

Misaki squeezed her eyes shut, then took a deep breath and set her phone on the coffee table. It was best to just not think about it at all.

Whatever sleepiness she might have been feeling had been dispelled by Ootsuka's call, and she didn't relish the prospect of staying up for hours, turning her situation and all possible outcomes over in her mind. To distract herself, she picked up a book that Matsumoto had loaned her months ago (to take on her vacation…which she had ended up canceling) and curled up on the sofa to read.

It turned out to be a fascinating story; she was deep into the text when a sound made her look up - and she jumped at the sight a figure in black stepping through her balcony door.

"You scared me," she said, heart pounding.

Hei pushed the door shut behind him. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't want to come to the front door dressed like this."

Misaki warily eyed the knife hilts that were protruding from his unbuttoned trench coat.

When she didn't say anything, he added hesitantly, "I can go back to my place and change…"

"No," Misaki said, finding her voice at last. "No, it's fine." She'd just have to get used to the sight of him in his Black Reaper gear. Even though she was more comfortable thinking of him as a more serious version of Li, he was who he was. Actually, the reminder would be good for her. The more reminders, the better.

Plus, he _did_ look sexy, dressed all in black. It reminded her of the night she'd discovered his identity - the first time she'd ever seen him without his mask. Either of his masks.

Hei removed his coat, folding it over the arm of the sofa. "What are you reading?" he asked as he stripped off his gloves.

She glanced down at the book. "A murder mystery. It's pretty good."

"Have you solved it yet?"

Misaki looked up at him sharply. She couldn't tell if he was teasing her or not. "I'm only a quarter of the way through," she said, showing him the large chunk of pages that still lay beyond her bookmark.

He merely raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Okay, yes. I think so, anyway. And you don't have to look so smug," she added, as he began unstrapping his knives. She didn't know _how_ he could look smug with barely a change in his expression - but he did. "Fiction is easy. It has to make sense, or you wouldn't believe it. Every word a person says, every clue that gets noticed is important, or it wouldn't be there. If you pay attention, it's obvious. It's real life that's hard."

Hei settled onto the sofa next to her. "I guess that's true. Nothing that's real ever makes sense."

Misaki thought that he sounded a little wistful. She set down her book and scooted closer to him. Hei lifted his arm in invitation, and she pressed herself cozily into his side. He smelled heavenly: a mixture of steel, perspiration, and that subtle masculine scent that was all his own. "But that's my job - making sense out of life's mess."

"Did you always want to join the police?"

"Yeah. I've always been good at solving puzzles, and I've always wanted to do what I could to help others - becoming a detective seemed like the best way to do it. Most people assume that I joined because of my dad, but that was really only a small factor in my decision." Misaki idly traced small circles on the top of Hei's thigh. It was nice, being able to sit and talk like this. She was flattered that he seemed to want to know more about her life.

"Your dad?"

"Yes - he's Division Chief of the Organized Crime Control Bureau. You didn't know that?"

Hei shook his head.

That surprised Misaki; she would have thought that her father's name would be well known among the crime syndicates in the city. Did that mean that Hei definitely worked for a foreign organization? Then again, low-level operatives wouldn't necessarily need to know who was tasked with their arrest, beyond the nebulous 'police'.

"He doesn't mind that you do such dangerous work?"

"Yes and no," she said. "He knows that police work is my passion, and always encouraged me to follow it. But he doesn't like that my job has me out on the street, chasing contractors. Lately he's been pushing me to accept a promotion, that would have me chained to a desk all day."

Hei's arm tightened slightly around her. "It sounds like you'd be safer. Why don't you accept?"

"I _might_ be safer," Misaki said pointedly. "But I don't know if I'd be more effective. After what happened with Alice…that whole night was just such a disaster. VI-952 slaughtered half a dozen people, including my own friend; I almost got Saitou and myself killed; _and_ I let BK-201 escape - I didn't even get a shot off. I don't deserve a promotion."

"Shooting me wouldn't have had any effect," Hei said, his tone matter-of-fact but light.

She snorted. "That doesn't actually make me feel better." Although, it did. Not the fact that her gun was useless against his trench coat; rather, that it was so easy to talk to him about such serious things. Kanami always did her best to help Misaki see things in another light, to cheer her up - which was helpful, to a point. But Hei just…listened. That was what she really needed, sometimes. "Anyway; a promotion would mean having to leave my team, but we work so well together right now. I'm just not ready."

Hei nodded, his expression soft. "Finding a team you can trust isn't easy. You should hold on to them as long as you can." He was lightly stroking the back of her hand now; every brush of his fingers sent a tingle down her spine.

"I plan to." She plucked at the tight fabric of his sleeve. "So, what did you want to be when you grew up?" He played his roles so well that she honestly couldn't picture him as anything except Li, the sweet exchange student, or Hei, the cold assassin. But surely he must have had some dream, some passion that he would have pursued had things gone differently.

However, his jaw tightened at her question, and he shrugged stiffly. "I don't know. I never used to think about the future. I still don't."

"What did your parents do?" Would he have followed in his father's footsteps, as she had hers?

His tone grew frostier. "They died."

Shit - she had a wonderful habit of saying exactly the wrong thing. "I'm sorry," she said hastily, giving his hand a squeeze, "that was rude of me to ask." This wasn't a relationship, after all; she had no right to demand personal details. Maybe eventually, he would trust her enough to share them. In the meantime, it wasn't the past or future that matter - only the present.

On impulse, she slid out from under his arm and knelt up on the cushions. Hei turned to see what she was doing.

"Face forward," she ordered, then reached up to the base of his neck and pressed her thumbs into the knot of muscle there.

He flinched at her touch, and she hesitated. "Sorry," he said, exhaling slowly. "I just didn't expect that."

Misaki was by no means an expert massager, but his tension was impossible to miss. She used her thumbs to stoke up and down the sides of his neck, working her way down to the muscles that connected neck to shoulder, squeezing and pressing in a circular motion until they began to loosen up. Hei gave a quiet, appreciative groan that sent a spike of desire through her blood.

"Take your shirt off."

Obediently, Hei pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it onto the floor. Misaki leaned forward, letting her breasts brush up against his torso, and continued to massage his upper back, his skin warm and smooth beneath her hands. Mostly smooth: her fingers skated over the slight ridges of old scars. There was a round coin-sized depression in his left shoulder that she was sure was an old bullet wound; previously she'd noticed a similar scar on the back of his thigh that couldn't be more than a month old. She wanted to ask him about it - but now didn't seem like the time. The cut on his triceps that she had bandaged for him had healed nicely, leaving only the faintest trace behind.

Reality didn't make much sense, she mused. The facts surrounding Hei all contradicted each other. Someday, she swore, she would figure him out.

She kissed the back of his neck, the muscles relaxed and soft now under her lips. She slid her hands down his lower back to his waistband, only to discover that he was still wearing that damned complicated belt.

"The clasp is in the back," Hei said in a throaty voice. Misaki smiled against his skin. It took her a couple of minutes to understand how the fastener worked; she might have been quicker if she hadn't been growing more and more impatient with each passing second. At last she got it undone, and it was off.

No sooner had the belt landed on the floor than Hei twisted in his seat and grasped her hips, pulling her into his lap. She grinned at his impatience; threading her arms behind his neck, she rocked her hips suggestively.

But instead of responding in kind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his forehead against hers, breathing deeply.

"I'm sorry for being short with you," he said at last. "I just…don't want to talk about some things."

Misaki reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "I understand. And, thanks."

He leaned in and kissed her, sucking gently at her lower lip. She pulled her glasses off and tossed them carelessly onto the table beside her, while Hei tugged her hair free of its ponytail holder to drape over her shoulders. Still kissing her, he began undoing the buttons of her blouse. It wasn't until he had reached the last button and pushed her shirt from her shoulders that he relinquished her lips long enough to gaze down at her. He paused then, staring as if he'd never seen her before.

"Oh," Misaki said. "I went shopping today. Do you like blue?"

Hei brushed the back of his knuckle along the lacy trim of her new bra. She bit her lip against the feather-light touch on her sensitive skin. Wrapping an arm securely around her waist, he lifted them both up off the sofa and stood her on her feet. He locked eyes with her; she couldn't have looked away from his intense gaze even if she'd wanted to.

He reached for the button on her jeans, his eyes darkening perceptibly as he undid it. The sound of the zipper being pulled down seemed to fill the quiet apartment. Misaki wanted to help, to speed things along - he was moving so damnably slow - but his expression warned her against it. Instead she stood, trembling with impatience, as he peeled open her fly to reveal the sky blue boyshorts beneath. His gaze flicked down as if seeking proof of what he'd suspected; then his eyes were on hers again and he tucked his hands behind her waistband. He didn't simply push her jeans down as she expected. Rather, he followed them down, sinking to his knees as his rough hands slid along the smoothness of her legs, caressing every inch.

Then back up to grip her hips; Misaki let out a gasp when he kissed her lower belly, just above the trim of her silky undergarment. She closed her eyes and wove her fingers into her hair, holding his head in place as he continued to lay delicate kisses on her exposed skin. The light stubble on his chin rasped against her thighs.

"Bedroom?" she whispered, no longer trusting her own legs to support her.

His warm breath when he answered heated more than just her skin. "Only if we keep the lights on."

~~~~o~~~~

She really owed Kanami a beer, Misaki decided, as she lay blissed out on her bed. The sheets were a confused tangle and she had no idea where her new things had ended up, but she didn't care. Hei's head rested on her stomach; she idly stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. Her other hand was clasped in his, atop his heart. He was loose and relaxed, not a trace of tension anywhere. Misaki had half a mind to go back to the store and pick out a few more things. She'd never considered herself to have any sort of sex appeal; but knowing that he was so appreciative of her efforts had been a total aphrodisiac for her as well.

Maybe they could plan to "run into" each other again, and he could help her choose; the idea made her smile.

"I was in the store where Kanami and I helped you pick out those clothes today," she told him, speaking her train of thought aloud without considering her words first. "What were you really doing? Were they for Yin?"

Too late, she realized that she was prying again. But his breathing remained calm and even, and he didn't so much as twitch a muscle as she waited for him to refuse to answer. He was silent for so long that she thought he must be asleep; she was nearly asleep herself when he finally spoke.

He told her the whole story; Misaki listened with rapt attention.

"I don't know why I did it," he concluded. "It was stupid."

She twisted so that she could kiss him, her hair falling across his face. "No, it wasn't. It's stupid that you don't understand why not. One more piece, but the puzzle just keeps getting more complicated…"

He turned a perplexed gaze on her, but she didn't explain.

"The truth is ridiculous," she said, "yet somehow more believable than what you told me at the time. You couldn't have come up with better story? I thought contractors were supposed to be good liars."

"I was on the alert for Hitotsubashi's men; the last person I expected to run into was Chief Kirihara, the policewoman from the bathroom stall."

Misaki laughed softly. "You should have just said the clothes were for your girlfriend - that would have made more sense."

Hei paused for a long moment before answering, in a voice that was almost too low to hear. "Maybe I didn't want you to think that I had a girlfriend."

How could such simple words twist her heart so? Misaki kissed him again, then tugged on his hand. Hei pushed himself up the mattress until he was lying alongside her; she reached over and turned out the light, then settled against his side to sleep. He would be gone when she woke up, she knew, but she preferred it that way.

Saying goodbye, even if it was just for the day, wasn't something that she wanted to do.


End file.
